Social interactions are great! Some are inspiring and some are simply a source of happiness. Being able to trust a friend is a gift from the universe; being in the right relationship makes you feel like you’re one with it; a friendly co-worker alleviates stress. However, it is important to know that not everyone shows their real intentions and a toxic person can be found anywhere. Here are some sure signs you are dealing with one:
They are manipulative: It’s always about them. They get others to do what they want and try to get as much sympathy as possible. People they mentally abuse usually end up with feelings of guilt and fear. They know exactly how to make others feel not good enough. Another thing all manipulative people have in common is a never ending “torture and cure” cycle. Every time they cause someone to hurt, they always offer something; either a false compliment or a material thing the person truly wants. They usually take a certain amount of time before they go back to their ways, this is a technique they use to always keep others around whenever they want because their game is built of others vulnerability.
They are a damage to your relationship with others: It’s a normal thing for a friend, spouse or any person you interact with to want to spend time with you. The real problem is when you notice you are losing connections because of a specific person, you might have to think twice before you decide to trust them again.
Something feels wrong: Intuition never lies. And you will be thankful once you decide to listen to it. If you always have a sense of ‘’warning’’ concerning someone you should pay attention to it (the feeling). Be aware that having trust issues is not how you will learn to hear your intuition. Your opinion of someone never changes their reality. Your intuition will warn you whether you choose to ignore the bad signs coming from them or not, it will not only speak to you when the conditions are right for you. For example: Riley is obsessed with her significant other Eric. Every time they have a good time, she ends up talking about how she feels like he’s good for her but if they happen to disagree on some terms, she says she feels like he is not the one for her or that his intentions are not pure. But Riley’s desires are different from her intuition, regardless of what she wants to hear. Her intuition would still warn her because its role in her life is to prevent situations for her. It is to protect and guide her. Not to tell her “You’re right girl , you’re right I knew it sis” as her girlfriends would.
They don’t know how to keep secrets: Not all things need to be hidden, holding a secret that could save someone from damage is not good. But if your friend never stops telling you the personal life of other people, you need to be careful because he/she is also telling others about you.
They don’t collaborate: If you are always the one who tries to keep something right while your partner is playing smart . It is not good. I can understand if your roommate couldn’t afford a certain monthly fee due to other things going on in their life but if they keep doing the same things you should gently confront them . It’s okay if you apologize because you don’t want pride to affect your relationship but once your better half starts to make you feel guilty of what they do to you, you may need to ask yourself if this is what you truly want in a relationship. Don’t underestimate toxic people. They know how to make you bear their faults but they can’t do it without your consent .
They bring out the worst in you: We all know the famous line ”Friends bring out the best in you” and when it comes to toxic people, it is the absolute opposite. Not only do they bring out the worst in you, but they’re good at it. They know how to make you believe it is right. You need to be aware that a toxic person is not always one who makes you cry. Sometimes it’s the influence they have on you. They make you do ”fun things” that are not necessarily good for you. They generate the ”enjoy now and pay later” type of fun and it makes you lose the desire to improve.
Lastly, no one is perfect but you should be aware of what role your circle plays to your dreams and how you feel around them. Our energy introduces us before we even speak, but if you failed to recognize it and are in a toxic relationship, do not think it is too late to move on. You can start, little by little, before it hijacks the control you and only you should have of your life. No one else should have the wheel. A common reason people stay in toxic relationships is the fear of loneliness. But once you start loving yourself and realize that you deserve love, you will start attracting people who think the same and will love you for who you are. You will not have to lose yourself for it (good connections) because it will be of great quality, it will be the help that catapults you to your goals. You will not have to force it as it will be like a peaceful wind that naturally enters the windows of your life to illuminate, inspire, challenge, accept and love you.
Speaking from experience…