Some of the things that shaped me

Life can be a strict teacher; random thoughts in my room.

If life never treated me like a kid back when I was , why should I think like one? I remember the days of naivety, they are left far, far behind. There was a call to grow, a call to awaken, before I could even detach from the heat of my mother’s hugs, her affection. I was, in fact, what most would call an awkward child, an introvert, a loner, quiet and also an “old soul” at times. I was friendly but I always think beyond my age, at least that’s what they said. Constantly changing, growing and learning. Always feeling like I belong to some place, never the current one. Why do life teach some of us the hard way when, on the other side, those of our age are enjoying what most would call “L’âge de la folie” the age of madness in french, think of crazy teens when you say it. Those days when love gets confused with the influence of hormones, those days when peer pressure shows up. Random fact: I fell in love a few times but I’ve only loved once. And I learned a lot from it,  I’ve only acknowledged and reciprocated love to or with a specific person. To me, Ariana Grande’s thank u next sums up in one person, instead of “one taught me love, one taught me patience” I’d say he taught me love, he taught me patience. Fortunately, due to different life circumstances and lack of commitment, we had to move on from each other. And yes I did say fortunately because everything happens for a reason. I’m not saying I haven’t done anything stupid but I don’t do things “just because” or because I think it’s trendy. It’s crazy how, the opportunity came up many times (I was much younger) and I turn it down, everytime. What opportunity? you ask, I’m talking about the opportunity to do something that could affect my life down the line, the opportunity to be influenced the wrong way, even though no one was watching. I’ve made mistakes, learned from them. And the good things I’ve done, I try to hide them, at least as much as I can. Oh I remember during a specific period of my life, I could be dating “the cutest” guy in school whom I’ve been enamored with for a long time, I would bump into him even outside of school sometimes, turns out he also liked me because he made it loud and clear. When the time arrived to confess, I sadly said no because I already valued a brain and a heart, especially a heart ,over a pretty face, not like I didn’t want him but feelings are nothing compared to one’s pride (in a good way) I didn’t want to do something just because it was cool or cute,  and I couldn’t care less about his beauty, because I also possess beauty and I get to choose because even those with bad intentions desire a beautiful woman. I’ve learned a lot, I’m aware I was not the only one with problems, but at times I felt like life forgot my age due to the amount of my trials, I had to experience sickness and almost every other nightmare of an adolescent all at once, had to experience betrayal, had to learn how good people are at faking loyalty, many humiliating moments, especially 4 years ago. But I couldn’t be more grateful, after all, the universe has my best interest in mind…

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