This is how I was going to caption this blog: —-> today’s brutal “honesty” <—–But as I was reading some bible verses, I realized that it’s not new and it is not a product of “nowadays”. It’s always been around you know? Even scripture says there is nothing new under the sun.
I noticed that a lot of us tend to say we’re brutally honest or we have no filter as an excuse to be rude and unkind. The truth is, we believe that honesty should be loud. I almost fell unto this trendy “rawness” by letting it make me question myself (not in a good way) but I remembered that even the bible encourages a christian to speak and correct with compassion.
We have a habit of speaking harshly and most of the times with selfish motives. Next time you fix someone’s crooked path, don’t let it be known to others, don’t make it obvious because it is God who inspired you to do so.. He/she will appreciate it later, if you do it from within. You can still be honest, in fact, you SHOULD be honest. But the kind of honesty that is recommended by the bible doesn’t make a feast for itself.(matthew 12:36)
There is also some character traits that is expected from someone that is “real”. If the approved rules are not followed, then someone is supposedly unreal. But is that so? If you find yourself in that situation, and you know that what you put out is organic, you should not feel intimidated by these rules. Trendy is not necessarily biblical. Always keep proverbs 15:1 in mind.
What most people (including myself) don’t realize is, your own guidelines make it easier for you to be deceived. Let’s take a look back in high school or let’s just talk about high school movies. The “cool kids” usually have some standards, if a girl/guy don’t fit into their standards then “you can’t sit with us” is all this girl/guy will hear before the cool ones proceed with side looks or eye rolls, right? So what will the person do? The one that wants to be cool… He/she will suddenly start trying to fit in by acting exactly as a cool kid acts, they will follow every single rule like not text back fast, sit on specific tables and bring trendy stuff to school, right? Isn’t that how some kids think? Ok, that behavior is in adults as well. The only thing is, they manifest it in different ways. When you express yourself and you say this is how a real/honest person should be. And you describe your own required traits such as loud, vulgar (yes, some people expect a real person to be vulgar) and many more. So, someone who sees something in you for their own benefit, it could be anything from loneliness to a need for validation. That someone will act exactly as you want a real person to be in order to be approved by you. Even in the emotional area, when a guy asks “what makes you happy?” he is just trying to figure out what the entry to your heart is. This is why a lot of girls say “he changed” but he never changed, he was never that person. He wanted to capture you and you taught him how to. He stopped being your happiness when his goal was accomplished (it could be any goal from intimacy to ego boost).
Don’t set trendy guidelines to detect a brutally honest person, the bible say you will know them by their fruit. If the fruit is not genuine, you will know. Ways to know? By ASKING the FATHER for discernment, discernment only comes from God. It happens by asking him to show you, allowing him to show you, waiting for him to show you and trusting what he shows you. Don’t be misguided by feelings. Only God’s standards are real.
It’s not like you shouldn’t speak the truth, but do it with love. Let the truth be a teacher, a lover, an eraser. Not an opponent or a knife.